With all the gadgetry and complex computer systems, cars are becoming more high maintenance.  Its nice to have robots do everything for you, but what happens when the robots break down?  Check out this article on how to troubleshoot your tire-pressure monitoring system.  

If you are into safety, have a bit of coin to drop, and like Germans, then check out the Volkswagen Routan video review, a new feature from Roadloans.  

 

Of course no one likes to get a ticket.  There's nothing more discouraging than when you are late to your daughter's birthday party and you get pulled over for speeding.  Do these children not know what I risk for them?  The police officer, God love him, didn't even care that I was late.  He either has no children (that is what I told myself at the time), or more likely, was just doing his job.  Either way, I was slapped with a speeding ticket, adding insult to my tardy pie  There is that moment of getting a ticket where you know that sometime, during the next few weeks, you are going to pour 6 hours of precious American time down the toilet in what used to be called "Defensive Driving," but is now "Traffic School."  For me, that moment consists of existential despair about the futility of life, which then morphs into a cynical tirade about how police officers need to be out stopping thieves and other seedy underworld types, and finally lands nicely at an admission of my own guilt for not planning ahead.  Welcome to the adsurdity of my thought process. 

There are so many ways you can dress up a pig, but a pig is always a pig.  In the same way, Traffic School companies have tried to make their courses more palatable by offering "Comedy" traffic school, or offering the complementary (at least in Texas) lunch from Luby's Cafeteria or (insert old people eating establishment here).  But at the end of the day the principle holds: Traffic School is and always will be Traffic school, a 6 hour beating at the hands of your state and your own indescretion.  This doesn't mean it isn't helpful.  I learned a lot a couple of years ago when I attended.  But it is the kind of helpful that I would classify alongside vasectomies and colonoscopies.  Sure they are helpful, should you need one, but I'd really rather not. 

The truth is, Traffic School, beating though it is, is unavoidable if you don't want to pay more for car insurance, or if you want to keep a ticket off your record.  This being the case, we have to do it, so we might as well make the most of it.  We live in a tech saavy age, so why not take advantage of the accompanying luxuries?  I hereby direct your attention to Traffic School Online where they have been "Protecting Driving Records since 1997."  From this website you can take care of a ticket from any state by completing their online course and receiving a completion certificate in the mail.  If you are going to give away 6 hours, at least make it from home with a cup of coffee and comfortable surroundings.  Its like having a vasectomy in your own living room! 

Here is a good article on Emission Control Systems, which are designed to monitor, well, emissions.  In laymans terms, these are the things that are responsible for the check engine light coming on and costing you a hundred bones to get turned off.  Anyways, the article is helpful in understanding the different types of Emission Control Systems, and what each one does.  Its always nice to get to know ones car, right?  

Roadloans is proud to present to you the launch of a our car review video section over at the website.  This is a great tool for the shopper, so be sure to share this with your family and friends. 

Here is an example of what the videos look like (click on picture to visit site):

 

I don't like paying for gas.  Of course, saying something like this is like my son saying he doesn't like to take a bath.  No one likes shelling out ducets for anything, let alone gas, and even more obvious, a boy of 5 hates taking baths.  But you need gas to get around in today's world, and the boy needs a bath to keep from looking like this (which ironically is from a movie all about fuel).  Both are a necessary evil.  So maybe the original statement should be amended to say this: I don't like paying for gas anymore than I have to, and it seems that I have to pay a lot more these days.  Well, never fear...there are some proposed solutions on the very distant horizon that might help your wallet, and you've probably never heard of them, nor will you in any dimension of reality.  Ok maybe you should fear.  But hey its fun to dream right?  I know what you're thinking, and no Back to the Future's Mr. Fusion is not on the list.  But one of these ideas is actually used in the movie. 

To tip my hand a little, there are a couple I really like, but I'm having some trouble figuring out which one I prefer the most: dead cats or dirty diapers.  I don't like cats per se, though it is a stretch to say that I want them dead, but still...if I come across a dead feline, and I can use it to get me from point A to point B, then what's the problem?  Of course my question then becomes, "how does one get the cat into the gas tank?"  Obviously the options are not pleasant, and as such this idea does not appeal to me the most.  Dirty diapers, on the other hand, seem to be a better option simply because we have so many.  I could be the equivalent of an oil tycoon if scientists in their labs could only figure out how to cram those soaked and soiled diapers into the gas tanks of the world.  I would be a power broker in the worldwide dirty diaper market, throwing my weight around in politics, funding small revolutions, or providing clean drinking water to impoverished countries in exchange for large tracts of land on which to build more dirty diaper factories (which would look just like my house).  And who's to say that the dirty diaper smell won't become moderately appealing to some folks, like the gasoline smell we are all so familiar with?   Anyways, you've done the hard work of reading this far.  Now for the payoff (not in dirty diapers).

If you are a high profile target, be it drug dealer, politician, seedy owner of a strip club, bar, check cashing joint, coin operated car wash, or laundromat (or all of the above), CIA agent, CIA agent supporting a revolutionary upstart, deposed leader in (insert war torn country), simply have the stones to think you need protection from bullets, or if you live in Texas and are a democrat, then you might be interested in these websites that sell Armored vehicles. 

Interestingly enough, I didn't see options for machine gun mounting.  I guess the best offense is a good defense...but still...no machine guns? 

http://www.armoredcars.com/

http://www.alpineco.com/

http://www.armormax.com/

http://www.customarmoring.com/

http://www.execarmor.com/

At the risk of sounding like Captain Obvious, knowing where you are going in your car is important.  Here are the options available for driving directions, with pros and cons for each:

Handwritten: Pro: inexpensive, if you have paper (or a napkin), and pen (or crayon, which happens to be the case with me all too often).  Con: who writes anything by hand anymore?  Nobody wants to deal with cramped hands do they?  It sounds silly but I would rather not go somewhere if I have to write the directions down by hand.  Ok not really, but really...this is always a last resort in my world.  Pony up and at least learn to use a printer and the miracle of google maps.  

Google/Yahoo/etc. maps - print out the directions and follow them.  Pro: inexpensive, if you have a printer with ink and an internet connection.  In addition, you get to pretend that internet maps are still cool and cutting edge.  Con: This of course works only if you have a printer, and mine ALWAYS seems to be out of ink.  The whip of printing out directions always seems to happen last second, as the suburban is full of wifery fending off the progeny slowly boiling over into a full blown fight between the two eldest over who gets to sit next to the baby in the remaining middle seat, and who gets confined to the dreaded third row of seclusion.  

Maps on your iphone/blackberry/pda - Pro: these tell you where you are relative to your destination, so if you stay on the path you know where to turn next.  They are most helpful if you have a navigator, so when you get off the beaten path, you don't have to look while driving.  Problem comes when control freaks like me grab the device from their navigators/wives while driving because they don't trust anyone with directions.  Con: while helpful, these aren't really a blessing if you happen to get off the trail.  In order to get back to where you are going, you have to actually look at the map (God forbid!), which of course isn't the end of the world, but is less than optimal if you are driving.  There is also not the smooth and silky voice of a british woman telling you where to turn, which oddly enough, is comforting.  

GPS on your iphone/blackberry/pda - Pro: i've found these to be mostly reliable.  I've driven long distances using my Blackberry GPS.  In addition, if you own a smartphone, which many do today, it often comes included, or at an affordable price.  Con: they are a bit clunky, no other way to say it.  In my case, everytime I needed to make a phone call, it was a dramatic and epic journey to get back to the GPS screen, all while driving, which is double fail.  

Dedicated GPS Device -Pro: Hard to beat this, anyway you slice it.  I drove from North Texas to Yonkers blindly relying on a GPS.  We were delivered safely to the exact location we had entered back in Dallas.  If you get off track, you just listen to your GPS and you will get back on.  It does require a measure of faith, especially when you get into unfamiliar areas with lots of bizarre highways, loops, spurs, streets whose names keep changing, etc., but your GPS won't let you stray off the path too far.  It is also fun to name your GPS.  I call mine Marge.  Con: Cost is pretty high, though pretty affordable for the lower end ones.  They are also thief bait.  When traveling on the road and making many stops, especially overnight, a dedicated GPS is one more thing you need to secure in your car as you leave it in an unfamiliar parking lot. 

If at all possible, a dedicated GPS device is the way to go.  I don't think it is necessary to pay over $150-200 for one.  I'm not even sure what the higher end ones do that the cheaper ones don't.  Do they make you breakfast?  Come with a free toaster?  After reading the reviews, the whistles and bells are nice, but at the end of the day they both get you to the same place.  Of course the same could be said for handwritten directions or print outs.  At the end of the day, its all about convenience and how well you want/need to pamper yourself in order to make it through a long road trip, or a Craigslist pick up the next city over.  Check out cnet's top 5 GPS systems here.  

If you are at all like me (and I realize that you very well may not be),  you are intimidated by anything to do with an automobile other than driving it.  This is especially the case when it comes to fixing things in a car.  My dad never fixed anything.  He just took it to the shop, bought a new one, or had somebody out to fix whatever it was that wasn't working correctly.  Add to that the fact that the last time I messed with a spark plug my fingers were burned pretty good, though it was on a lawnmower and not a car.  Add to that the fact that called a "spark plug" just doesn't sound pleasant, and my lack of desire in fixing spark plugs in an automobile is off the charts.  If you are one of these mechanically challenged and cowardly people, try looking at this video and the summary steps below it.  

My windshield wipers never seem to work.  Streaks abound across my windshield, and visibility is often poor.  Of course the reason behind this is my mangled windshield wipers.  For some reason I've always assumed it was unnecessarily difficult to change them out with new ones, until I stumbled across this article.  Enjoy the view!